Well, it's been quite some time since I decided to sit down
and write something, but I had a few minutes and decided I would get back at it. The
last few months of my life have been a roller coaster of events and I have been
reminded time and time again of one thing in particular and I just wanted to
share it with you all.
Trust........Although I repeatedly say that I really and truly
trust God with every aspect of my life, I've had to step back a few times
lately and ask myself if I really really do trust Him...with EVERYTHING. Sure,
it sounds great on paper and even coming out of our mouths to say, "oh
yes, I just really love God and trust Him and His plan for my life." But,
I think we sometimes forget that trusting Him wholly means trusting Him even
when things get rough and don't go how we want them to or how we envisioned
them.
Now believe me, this is something I'm literally having to
convince myself of every single day, as horrible as that sounds. I tend to say
that I'm trusting Him, but yet at the same time I try to control certain
aspects of the situation. Uh, hello. That's not trust, that's not fully
surrendering and that sure as heck is not what it looks like to give it ALL to
Him.
James 1:2-4 talks about how in our life we will face trials
and difficult things, but that these trials are meant to strengthen our faith
and ultimately our trust in God. It doesn't say that life will always be easy
and fun, but it prepares us for the reality of what life is going to hold. We
have a daily choice of whether or not we are going to let God define how our
lives are lived or if we are going to let our own pride and egos take over.
I know I'm not the only person who struggles with this, but
that doesn't give me an excuse to continue on in it. I got to a point a couple
of months ago, where I was so disgusted with the level of mediocrity in which I
was living and my overall lack of trust and I desperately wanted something
more...something deeply rooted in a relationship with God and fully trusting
Him. I will say that in the last few weeks I have felt a different level of
freedom in my life and I know that it is because I am giving God the reins more
and more and actively seeking Him and His word daily.
So, let go and trust that no matter what your circumstances
are He is and ALWAYS will be in control and letting Him have full reign over
your life is the most incredible decision you will ever make, no matter how
hard or easy that it may be!
- Letting go of myself
