Goodbye.....in certain circumstances this can be one of the hardest things to say. Today I was faced with the hardest goodbye that I've had in my life, thus far. Never in a million years did I think that it was possible for a group of children to take over such a huge place in my heart...but it happened. In seven short weeks these kids have been the highlight of every week for me. I anticipated seeing their smiling faces every day that I was there and in return they never failed to put a smile on my face.
La Yaguita was by far the poorest area that I spent any time in, but I was happier there than any other place. The pure joy of the kids and the kindness from Pastor Ramon, his wife and the teachers was just so overwhelming and it seriously gave me such a huge perspective of my "rich" life back home. I felt so selfish so many times while I was there and every single time it was like God saying "see, if those who have less than you can trust me, why can't you?" Talk about a kick in the stomach.
I'm so far from having everything in my life figured out, but knowing that God has it all under control and really does have the PERFECT plan makes it so much easier. This seems like an easy concept to grasp, but it takes a little longer for some of us and I thank God for allowing me to experience the things that I have, which have opened up my eyes so much more!
There were so many things in this city I just wanted to "fix." Whether it was a little kid who was running down the street with no clothes, an old woman working herself like crazy to provide food for the grandchildren she had inherited or soooo many other things that would break the heart of almost anyone who witnessed it. I just wanted to fix all of it. Obviously this isn't logical, but it just frustrated me even more that so many of us waste our money on absolutely pointless things, when we could be helping others who NEED the little things that are so convenient to us.
I became really good friends with one of the girls at school and was talking to her at lunch today. I asked her if she needed anything before I left. She said no. I knew that was a lie, so I asked her again. She told me she needed a new pair of jeans because most of hers were ripping (which I knew to be true) and she didn't have any good ones. I also asked if any of the kids really needed anything. She told me that Orlin's shoes were falling apart and that his mother bought his brother new shoes but would not buy him any. This infuriated me. I understand not everyone here has access to multiple pairs of shoes, but why would she buy his brother extra shoes, and leave Orlin with none?... I sat very frustrated for a few minutes before I handed my friend a few dollars and asked her to specifically use it for her jeans and Orlin's shoes. She looked at me kinda stunned for a minute. I could tell she wanted to cry, but she slapped my arm and told me I was crazy and that I couldn't do that. I ran out of the room before she could say anything else about it. Although this seemed like such a small thing to me, it was soooo far from small to her and that's what I wish people could see. Even the smallest bit means the absolute world to them.
My afternoon ended with the class singing me a song and giving a big card, in which they had all signed and written notes to me. I admit that I cried and I didn't care. I only hope that some day they can understand the huge impact that they've had on my life. I will never forget them and I will cherish each moment that I had with them!
Much love,
Rachel :)
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